I propose the System-wide Collegiate Offensive Re-emergence and Excitement (SCORE) Act of 2009:

Every offensively-challenged school will have a direct line to Texas Tech Head Football Coach Mike Leach, heretofore known as The Gaffer. Each team's head coach will use a government-provided iPhone to direct message The Gaffer through Twitter. 140 characters is more than enough to describe any situation, and The Gaffer will respond with a 3 character hash which can be decrypted into 1 run and 2 pass plays.