UT Alternate Reality Game
by antiswarm on Nov 9, 2008 9:40 PM CST
Email
PrintTired of always having to have your team prove itself on an actual field? Are you sick of little things like "losses" keeping you from automatically being given whatever you want?
We'll call the alternate reality game "Check Out Them Horns!". In the game, the player (a UT fan) can pretty much do whatever he likes and say whatever he wants. No matter what comes to pass in the game, eventually the player can hit the "Sampson Option" and make it all come out the way he wants.
In the first level, the player asserts absurd things that never happen, but eventually all things work together to make them come to pass, and if they don't, he makes it to the next level.
Level 1 play - assertions vs. results
1. The player insists that OU never "jump" Texas in the polls, because Texas beat OU, and therefore in no circumstances may the game allow OU to "jump" Texas.
2. The player insists that Texas "jump" Tech no matter who they lose to. This way, Texas backs into a game they couldn't get to on their own. If Tech says, "Wait a minute buddy... we BEAT YOU!" You merely sneer and order a Latte, hit "refresh" and you get your way.
3. The player insists that Tech absolutely in no way could beat OU. Period. Even though Texas beat OU handily, and Tech beat Texas in every single measurable facet of the game, and then demolished OSU. When in doubt, player uses the "head to head comparisons never work". Then he says, "Because we beat OU, when OU beats Tech, we automatically should be #1".
4. Player hits history button to see the results of his past play. The player had argued before the Kansas game... "Tech hasn't played ANYBODY. Kansas is their first big road test!" Result, Kansas demolished on the road. Player replies, "Well, obviously Kansas sucked" MAJOR points scored there! Player then argued, "but Tech will lose to Texas (of course), how DARE they think they can win against UT... IMPOSSIBLE. They STILL haven't played anyone." Result, Tech smashes Texas in the mouth. Player responds, "Well, it was the refs! And, we had a bad night! And, we were tired! And, we spotted them three quarters and still almost won (the almost win ploy, learned from the aggies), And, we should get a do-over! Anyway, NO WAY Tech beats OSU. We played OSU and they pulled an "almost win" on us! We barely won by 4! They are AWESOME!" Result, OSU gets smacked in the mouth.
5. Player, back in real time, now asserts, as before mentioned, that Tech hasn't played anyone (EVEN US), is overrated, and will certainly lose to OU... Hits "Make it SO" button, and then goes to sleep, dreaming of falling backwards into a BCS trophy full of spongy, sugary, "we just deserve it" marshmallows.
If the "Make it SO" button doesn't work properly, Player begins devising mischievous schemes to have a meteor hit the Jones during the Baylor game, which brings him to LEVEL 2.Level 2 play - All your wildest dreams come true!
Having failed to argue his way into a National Championship, and facing the reality of Tech ignoring him and winning out on the field, the player now moves to the AWESOMENESS of Level 2.
Level 2 is the REAL alternate reality game. We'll call it a VIDEO game, where the player can just click "do over" whenever they don't like a result, and can make up any scenario that might work out for his team. For example, Tech's bus could crash into a taco stand on the way to the airport before the OU game. Then the governor could put OU on double-secret probation, and... you know, for the good of the game... Texas could then waltz into a Big 12 championship pillow fight with Missouri?
Or...
The player can program it so Tech is going to lose even if he has to put all the jet planes on the equator and fire them up at the same time in order to alter the corealis effect and make Graham Harrell throw a few more INT's and maybe give Crabtree vertigo
No matter what the player does, UT backs into a Big 12 Championship, and then a National Championship.
I'm serious. BIG MONEY HERE. This game would make crack seem like aspirin. Every UT fan would buy one or two.
Peace y'all!
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors.
8 comments
|
0 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
Re:
I generally disagree with the way you goad UT fans at BON, but I loved this fanpost. I graduated from Tech but currently attend UT, so as you can imagine I’ve heard every explanation possible for why UT is really the better team and that whole settling it on the field business is simply irrelevant. As we destroyed our common opponent OSU in a manner that surely shocked all UT fans who thought that was the best team they’ve played (because they beat them, of course).
Until Tech loses this entire discussion is pointless. Tech > Texas, until that moment WE do something wrong.
If a three-way tie does come to pass, I think Texas, Tech, and OU fans alike will spend many hours twisting ourselves into pretzels trying to justify why it is us and not the other two bastards who should go to the Big-12 championship. That’s the nature of a 3-way tie, unfortunately. BUT UNTIL THEN: We’re better.
Those UT guys do seem to be caught up in the fantasy world. I’ve never seen so many excuses and such twisted logic. Denial is just the first stage of the grieving process, so they have a long way to go.
They were all over a couple of OSU boards last week whining about how we cheated, etc. Of course our 36 point win over a team they nicked by 4 doesn’t even seem to register, nor does the fact they scored 28 on a team we put up 56 against. Maybe they don’t count the points our second string scored. :-)
I feel sorry for their young defensive backs who have been crucified on their boards. That’s sure to help their confidence next year. The fans seem to forget all the ways they got dominated before that last drive. Honestly, they sound like Aggies.
Level 3
A University in Texas fan plays the game over on his X-box, wins 9 out of ten times and claims that NCAA Football 2008 knows who should have won the real game!
by Red Raider in South GA on Nov 10, 2008 2:12 PM CST reply actions
The guys at BON have really spent the better part of two weeks trying to figure out how they get to either the champioship game or the conf championship game. It’s actually really interesting to read the various scenarios they come up with. The bottom line is that Texas needs a TON of help to make either one. Can’t blame them for trying to figure it out, but it would stress me way too much to think about.
Here’s a new personal favorite. Our OSU game-watching party was infiltrated by a UT alum b/c his wife is a friend of one of our Tech hosts. Whenever the subject was broached by the announcers or anyone in the room of UT’s recent tribulations, his response was “yeah, well, we already have our championship”. I tried not to laugh. Hey, so does Michigan. You think that is the line they are using during the awesome year that they are having? Then one of our group tried to show some sympathy for them due to Orakpo’s injury. His response..“Well, it doesn’t matter…he already has his championship and is going to be drafted high”. So I guess they ARE still in the denial phase.
To bad...
Tech92 wasn’t at the party. He would have crawled on the ground to kiss the guy’s longhorn class ring. I swear, guys like this Texas fan are pathetic.
What I love about college football. It doesn’t matter what a bunch of mental masturbators say or how many scenarios they can design which get them to a championship game. Tech has the unique opportunity to control its own destiny. These young men don’t give a rat’s @$$ about the 2005 championship back when most of them were 16. They go out there and play every game and they do it to win, and frankly I don’t think they take it as seriously as the roundhouse circle jerks in Austin, College Station, or Norman.
I think Tech wins, but frankly I would rather give up the rest of the season and root in silence for a perpetually 8 and 4 team than to crawl on me belly onto a Longhorn blog and beg to be liked or beg for them to give us our day in the sun. And if the day ever comes where I get out a slide rule and a Ouija board and start devising mischievous plans or praying for injuries in order for others to fail so that Tech can get a championship at any level, I’ll get rid of my computer (I already don’t own a television).
I’ve been around UT fans all of my life. Some are alright, and some are funny, smart, engaging, sarcastic, and entertaining. Most, however, are T-shirt fans, secret-handshake jackholes, debutantes, and fair-weather acolytes for the very best team government money can buy. We see them around here every fall and winter during hunting season, driving $50,000 pickup trucks with a Longhorn sticker on the back and carrying $20,000 in gear, wearing $3000 in camo, sporting a $1500 gun… all in order to drink beer in a deer stand and shoot a $50 trained deer that comes to a corn feeder to get some free food. Sporting. But at least they leave the beer cans on the ground.
Well, as I said on BON… Reality is a serious buzz kill, and nobody likes anybody telling them they are demeaning themselves and their team by their actions. It’s always a joke or “just good fun” when you get called out on it. You see, this UT fan who still lives on a past championship doesn’t give a flip about this year’s team, or Orakpo or Colt McCoy. He cares about the smoke and mirrors and the facade of it all. Sad. Empty. Life.
… and that is the end of my rant for the day…
Peace
... I'm just sayin'
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
