HOIST THE COLORS!
If ye be reading this tale, then me gone to meet me maker. Me bones be buried in the dunes, me soul crushed among the breakers.
The hour of reckoning be close at hand, their inhuman snarls pierce the clouds. A river of blood be flowing now, the screams of me crew grow loud.
On tis parchment in haste, tis story must be told. In my final moments now, a dire warning me cannot withhold.
How did it come to this me ask? Victory seemed to be in arrrr reach. What a horrible fate before us now, dead and dying on this beach.
The story starts with a ship, and it’s pirate crew. Legendary were they, weaknesses they had few.
For a decade they sailed, making enemies far and wide. Many victories they claimed, many souls they sent to the tides.
At their helm was a man, or better yet a ghoul. An offensive genius was he, many a enemy he made a fool.
His sword skills were legend, and jagged was his blade. His cannon fire deadly, so violent was his air raid.
But as the story goes, his legend came to an end. Missteps, lies, and arrogance….failed by mutinous friends.
To the joyous cheers of his enemies, his ship it did go down. Mysteriously though we searched.....later no trace of it was found.
In the clear were we, now unimpeded we could sail. The fearsome pirates now gone, we were sure to prevail.
But then on the seas strange stories did appear. Tales of fog, missing vessels, and a growing, chilling fear.
Whispers of sightings, the fear delayed many trips. For now we were certain, on the seas sailed a ghost ship!
So a choice we made, me and me crew. To sail straight at’em, before their strength grew.
Catch this vessel by surprise, that was our plan. Run and shoot them back to hell, stop the nightmare before it began.
Off the coast of Lubbock Key, that’s where we met this ghost. Surrounded by fog not of this world, we met our waiting host.
Oh what an error, what an ill fated trip. For sailing towards us now was NO SINGLE GHOSTLY SHIP. In an instance the fog lifted and our faces white as sheets. For speeding in haste towards us now, the thousand sails of a demon FLEET!
Never before had I seen such a horde. Must have been 60,000 and a new commander on board.
Ship after ship with revenge at their core, we turned as quickly as possible and headed to shore.
How quickly they chased, they maneuvered with such skill. Clear it became that speed indeed kills.
We made it ashore, using the dunes as cover. We ready our weapons and prayed with one another.
To our dismay, the fog reappeared. Masking their approach, and crippling my crew with fear.
Silence then rushed, over the beach, as we waited for our fate victory now within their reach.
But the silence did not last and hellish snarls filled our ears. Then as they emerged, our wide eyes filled with tears.
These were no ghosts, but red eyed demons cloaked in black. How could there be so many, how were they able to come back?
Then it began, our final death throws. The demons now issuing their crippling death blows.
A massacre like this no one could have foretold. My entire crew of sailors left mutilated and cold.
The last thing I saw before turning to flee, was their new commander down on one knee. Lying beneath him was my dying first mate. His face trembling in fear and sealed was his fate.
Face to face he was now with devil in charge. An evil grin, a neck-tie, and a confidence loomed large.
He bent down to my friend, and issued one final word. A warning I share now that I hope is heard.
He said " I am the Commander Tubs, and this is my fleet. A renewed horde of death dealers who will bring this world to their feet. Let it be known far and wide, you have a new invader. Tell them we are pirates no more, you must now answer to the RED RAIDERS!"
I escaped for a moment, but not as a coward. I had to issue word of this new evil power. I have only a moment, they have found where I hide. I must finish this warning, and sacrifice my soul to the tide. But if you read this, the burden is now yours. You must warn the other 8 vessels to never sail these shores. For our future is bleak, but perfectly clear….we don’t stand a chance the RED RAIDERS ARE HERE!
Sincerely,
Sir June Jones
Captain
H.M.S. Mustang
Wreck'em TECH!
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors.
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+1!!!!!!!!!!
love this quote… and it was just posted to twitter and my fb status, only I changed “we have” to “have we”, just so it rhymed!
Nice job TTUMAR! I’m fired up and ready to get this thing started!
"You've got to find your inner pirate" - Mike Leach
TTUMAR....
You have outdone yourself yet again. This could be your best yet. This will be forwarded on
Just smashed some stuff and got in trouble with my wife....
LETS GET THIS SEASON STARTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I must say - well done
I admit that I have not been a fan of your previous “pirate-speak” pieces – I don’t know – the whole pirate-thing never really connected with me (I’m old).
But, you’ve succeeded in getting my attention – not only with your very well-written and composed liturgy on the rise-fall-rise of the Red Raiders, but also the attached video.
[clapping] Well done … VERY well done!
Thanks for your effort –
Wreck ’Em!
"Fearless champions ever be; Stand on heights of victory"
epic
f*cking love these posts. We need to find all your previous ones and put them in the hall of fame. ARGH!!! Im gonna be drinking like a pirate this weekend,
What do you call a Serbian with an insatiable desire for sweets with only one nad (in his throat)?
CHOCOHOLICINADINHISNECKDARKOINSKIVICHSKI
Damn good job!
TTMAR you do it again! My brother sent me the Warrior Song to get us ready for the start of the season. Being a retired vet that pumped me, but this beats it. Good job.
"It's time to get down to serious business." Tommy Tuberville
hat tip sir
Well dobe
"There's going to be ups and downs but you have to enjoy the battle." Mike Leach
by blackbeard on Sep 4, 2010 6:13 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
hat tip sir
Well dobe
"There's going to be ups and downs but you have to enjoy the battle." Mike Leach
by blackbeard on Sep 4, 2010 6:13 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
Outstanding!!
It’s been entirely too long since we’ve had one of these.
I have a new tradition for all of you. I wear an eyepatch during games. I started it with the MSU game…….
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
uh, you're gonna miss half the game.
"There's going to be ups and downs but you have to enjoy the battle." Mike Leach
I didn't say with eye it was on.............
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Supreme fail this morning....
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Masterful job TTUMAR
Time for some football. Make it happen!
yes, you should see a video link just below the poem.
Download Google Chrome, then use that to view the site.
"Dress good, yu'll play good. Play good, yu'll get paid good." -Deion Sanders
Just to touch on what TTUMAR is trying to get across here.....
It’s gameday!! OUR season has officially started. Get excited, headbutt your coworker or neighbor and get excited.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
I am excited!
I can’t believe we still have to wait six hours for kick-off – it’s killing me! Have to admit I’m scared/excited since the Tuberville Red Raiders are an unknown. And since SMU isn’t a cupcake.
There are a huge number of SMU fans in town.
Lubbock is absolutely packed! Has to be one of the largest opening weekends ever, Tailgate starts in 1 hour.
"Dress good, yu'll play good. Play good, yu'll get paid good." -Deion Sanders
I hate you.
And I mean that with as much respect as possible…….
Drink one too many for me.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
This might have been the best thing that i have ever read...
tears of joy started to form in my eyes!!!
Wreck 'Em Tech!
J.T.H.
You should have read the bit he had published in Penthouse......
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...

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