To Being Seventh Best
by LondonRaider on Oct 27, 2011 9:54 PM CDT
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PrintI hereby announce my intent to join the chorus of supporters and joyously leap into the collective rush to deify the accomplishments of the currently 7th ranked receiver on the team.
This role model to children everywhere, and sixth year senior, is on pace to equal peaks of production not seen since his third freshman (15) and first sophomore seasons (17).
We witness the rebirth of the fallen son, who buried in lies of his own making and scorned by those who rejected such lies, now somehow unapologeticly rises unscathed by his past deeds to face his oppressors.
Alone in this barren land, only one man will stand beside him - the kind of man who would not tolerate the same behavior from those with lesser fathers, the kind of man who is willing to manufacture a narrative that serves his interests, the only kind of man that would would be willing to conveniently forgive, so that others might one day hopefully forget.
The paragon of virtue that stands before us today may once have lied, required grown men to suspend disbelief, and shattered the spirit of a once unified nation (including perhaps even a few doors).
But as I swear by the only God that stands before me, those four receptions against Oklahoma which increased our embattled One's reception average from 1.3 catches per the game all the way to 1.7 catches per game, has forever removed whatever malice I may have harbored in the depths of my heart.
For this man-child need not be a teller a truths, a master of his own fate, or even one who - God forbid -deigns to accept the consequences of his own actions.
By all that we hold sacred and for so long as he shall wear the scarlet and black, such trivialities matter not.
This leader of men is a Red Raider.
For those who continue to disbelieve, remember this. It is his brothers in arms, and only his brothers in arms, most of whom are not old enough to legally purchase alcohol, who reserve the right to pass judgment.
The rest of you who cling to your own beliefs, trust your ability to read sworn affidavits, and value your life experiences over the vested interest of those who seek to wish the past away merely waste your own breath.
To those who refuse to let go of your hate, I say to you, you can have your Academic All-American receiver Alex Torres. Take your former OU recruit, Eric Ward, and his 44 team leading receptions. Enjoy the once Next Mr. Crabtree and now forever injured Darrin Moore.
Begone with your Cornelius Douglas, who without his 27 catches would merely be a fairground delicacy barely worth the three packets of mustard smeared across its crispy exterior and served on a stick.
Take with you your Jacoby Franks who may finally have emerged as the reliable receiver you had always thought he would be. When it came time to face the Crimson and Cream menace, he was but a question mark hiding on the injured list.
And finally, you may even have your lovable Eric Stephens, who, but not for a vicious late hit that resulted in a season ending injury, would likely be the team's most valuable player. The feats of this once feared competitor have been reduced to a milestone for our new hero to reach in 12 games what Mr Stephens accomplished while moonlighting as a feature back in 6.
These players might be more talented. They might have better production. They might even be better people.
But on that cold night in October, with the team clinging to a 17 point half time lead, only one voice spoke up. And it was His (or so we are told).
Steeled by the raw passion of their brother-in-arms, His comrades would proceed to be outscored 31-14 over the remainder of the contest.
This, you see, is how legends are born.
And history was thus made.
Out of the rubble of boos heaped upon him by the peers who know him best, a new youngish hero emerged.
So while the rest of you wrestle with your precious moral ambiguity, His feats will be memorialized by the scribes who are paid to write them (or else).
Years from now, when the thrill of victory has long receded, we will still recall this glorious day and think to ourselves, "Never has so much been written about so little."
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors.
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You are my hero
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Oct 27, 2011 10:20 PM CDT reply actions
Sir Recsalot!
"What the hell did you do that for"... Tubs Mom
by raider realist on Oct 27, 2011 10:46 PM CDT reply actions
Standing ovation!!!
Perfect, just perfect.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
blackbeard rubs his beard
in thoughtful reflection
"As we continue to merely "talk about championships""
Absolutely top banana...
my comedic cockney brother…
Menagerie of the absurd
in an upside-down world, where right is wrong and wrong is right.
You’ve captured it with humor. ……………………… sigh, if it weren’t so sad.
+ 1
Would have posted +1,000 but, as a new member, did not want to risk breaching playground protocol.
"I want to give him the heat and announce my presence with authority!"
Ebby Calvin LaLoosh
No thanks
I prefer the Seth C. and MDRaider06 approach to he-who-must-not-be-named (or-referred-to-in-any-way).
This.
I’m a form and find this funny.
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. – Life on the Mississippi
by LBKpiratefan on Oct 28, 2011 6:27 AM CDT via mobile up reply actions
A form huh?
How bout a “dork”?
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. – Life on the Mississippi
by LBKpiratefan on Oct 28, 2011 5:26 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions
someone must illustrate this
And sell it. Would make a great comic. “The Adventures of Captain Martyr”
Now and then we had a hope that if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates. – Life on the Mississippi
by LBKpiratefan on Oct 28, 2011 6:32 AM CDT via mobile reply actions
The slow clap motherload
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhTiJEYqqY8
2011 Season - No excuses. Just win!
I rec'd the crap out of this
…and then sauteed it in mushrooms. What a tasty morsel. Delicious and sublime, with an oaky finish.
Be looking for Antiswarm's first fiction novel The Last Pilgrims, due out in November of 2011.
I think you just quoted the back of one of my scotch bottles.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Only Needs
some epic battle music in the background
maybe
you heard the same radio interview i did, all the way in London. Tubs actually spoke for more than one whole minute about our beloved One, and how if anyone else boos him he’s gonna go into the stands himself and find that person and smack them. or something to that effect. I chuckled to myself, driving down university, and thought, man, i’d like to see him go into the red raider stands trying to defend Nancy. yah…that would be reeeeeaaal smart
by Jameson Vernon on Oct 28, 2011 10:31 AM CDT reply actions
Yeah, I heard about that
Heard he also heard that certain individual is representative of the team after all he’s been through & has so much courage, etc.
Believe our coach is not being smart by riling folks up. He can think player in question is the best thing since sliced bread, but why keep pushing him out there to get people upset?
I for one, intend to boo tomorrow just to see if he really comes up in the stands & smacks me. Will someone nearby pledge to have a video camera at the ready?
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
additionally,
you sir, have a most substantial gift of pen, wit, and satire
by Jameson Vernon on Oct 28, 2011 10:32 AM CDT reply actions
Right now
this post has a 2:1 comment to REC’D ratio. Quite possibly the highest ratio in the history of DTN
"Odds are its something simple" - @Coach_Leach
by neosox on Oct 28, 2011 10:43 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I'll take that as a challenge.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Oct 28, 2011 2:49 PM CDT up reply actions
We need graphs.
"I feel sorry for the guys," Tech head coach Tommy Tuberville said. "They fought hard tonight. We didn't look good on offense or defense at times, and at times we looked pretty good. It's just, I don't know. Weird game.
I think
what London Raider did in this post was somehow prove that the Donkey can in fact afford it. Thats what impressed me the most, and why I REC’D it
"Odds are its something simple" - @Coach_Leach
by neosox on Oct 28, 2011 5:05 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
good point...
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Oct 28, 2011 5:39 PM CDT up reply actions
Who are you talking about
"I feel sorry for the guys," Tech head coach Tommy Tuberville said. "They fought hard tonight. We didn't look good on offense or defense at times, and at times we looked pretty good. It's just, I don't know. Weird game.
Give the man a job at Woodbine!
And throw your pitiful Leach lawsuit into the depths where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth!
In your honor good sir…..please note the venue
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qyKFV3qWJ4
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Oct 28, 2011 2:44 PM CDT reply actions
This alone
Begone with your Cornelius Douglas, who without his 27 catches would merely be a fairground delicacy barely worth the three packets of mustard smeared across its crispy exterior and served on a stick.
is worth the price of admission…..
Arriba sus Pistolas, Muchachos!
by Tortilla Pirate on Oct 28, 2011 4:03 PM CDT reply actions
Yes
Thank you for saying what so many of us wish we could articulate without cussing a million times!!!
by TTU '04 on Oct 28, 2011 5:42 PM CDT via iPhone app reply actions
We few we happy few that read your post,
shall delight and be made glad by it. Very well done.
Wow! What an amazing incredible post Sir LondonRaider
I’m not worthy to comment any further…!
by Raiderit on Oct 28, 2011 11:10 PM CDT via mobile reply actions
A great satirical reaction to a new Frankenstein monster . . .
being created by others and from other’s parts right in front of our very eyes and solely for the enjoyment of one teleprompter reader’s family history revision! You nailed all the seamy stretches of imagination that can be drawn from the id after a long fixation on the image once dead -now miracle child (according to his press)!
by TTechWeb on Oct 29, 2011 1:08 AM CDT reply actions 1 recs
Is there an SB Nation version of a pulitzer?
Seems like a relevant question here.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
we should totally,
get SBN to make up one, and submit this post
by Jameson Vernon on Oct 29, 2011 1:47 PM CDT up reply actions
Just in time for Halloween!
Quick, get your Nancy James costumes out! Will anyone recognize us in a dark shed???
Take the "P" out of "Pirate" and I'm "Irate"!!!
Thanks LR
I really enjoy your satirical writings and this may be one of your best. There is so much more I want to say, but I will bow to your worthy offering as covering everything I might want to say.
TTpilk
"Never, never, never give up." Winston Churchill
You sir speak the truth
I’d pay to read your posts, SIr London Raider…
I only wish I could rec this more than once.
Just because I'm an artist doesn't mean I don't know my sports. I'll take on ANYONE in Fantasy International Ping Pong!
I only wish you had been stuck in New York longer.
Because quite frankly, your tone as of late has been rather ________.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
KWash I need you to come to my defense today
That awful tsip on the main thread called me a man-hater & other mean things! I kept thinking one of you guys would jump in & defend my honor! Although I did give him a pretty hard time…but I have zero tolerance for those arrogant whorns!!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
Sorry!
I was asleep when all that happened.
I don’t know Snide Aside, but bragging about materialistic things drives me up the wall.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
That's like food for me, not near as materialistic.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Convertibles get a pass as well right?
Simple rule of thumb: Everything before the but is BS.
by FriscoRaider on Nov 2, 2011 10:47 PM CDT up reply actions
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