My Ex-Girlfriend
by Pancho on Oct 5, 2011 12:24 AM CDT
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PrintWhen we first met, I thought she was just okay looking, especially for someone from east Texas. She did have most of her teeth. But after a while, I guess she kinda grew on me in a masochistic, punch-yourself-in-the-boys sort of way. Sure, she was always talking about how much smarter she was, and how I lacked class, and how I should make more money. But I tolerated her, and her stupid gayass dog. (Seriously, that dog was gayer than a bag of penises.)
Anyway, as time went on, she got madder and madder. Partly because I used words like "madder" and partly because I beat her in every single frickin thing we did. Checkers, scrabble, dabble, yatze, farting games, popcorn eating contests, frisbee, staring, pacman, girl pacman, blood tests, fantasy foosball, and oh yeah, real football. But she kept going on and on about her SAT scores..."I made an 1800 and you didn't, nah, nah, nah-nah, nah!" Well guess what b!tch, I didn't blow that asian kid in trigonometry so I could copy his SAT answers!
But, I digress. What hurts most is that the pain is gone. I know, I know, it doesn't make sense. But I love this pain. I loved when she was on the rag and would wave it around in my face and yell "Whoops!" I loved our yearly tradition of humping. I loved our late night yell sessions. I loved when her family would get angry and punch themselves in the face. I loved their plantation-owner racism.
Which is why I'll never understand why she left me for Alabama.
This is a FanPost and does not necessarily reflect the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors. It does reflect the views of this particular fan though, which is as important as the views of Double-T Nation's writers or editors.
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Well, there is that.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
So you're available then?
Because I can tell you’ve got a way with the ladies!! ;-)
"My, what big ears you have!"- Little Red Riding Hood presumably to Tommy Tuberville
I think those legs have been wide open for quite some time now.
Didn’t Baylor get that a couple times?
loved this
pacman and girl pacman. that’s talent!
IMWTx
"We thought we were too good to play Texas f-ing A&M. Now how in the F can that be?" ML
Maybe this could be
sent around as an article on other’s sites? SI?? Because, this is really good writing from a very clever, creative mind! A+ Enjoyed!
Plantation Owner Racism
Now thats a great old school reference.
I never met an aggie that didnt have that superiority complex even if it was just a little twinkle in there eye. Must be all that fake miliatary training, respecting your elders, doing what your told, just because thats what we do type of crap.
College Football: "Our Traditions are now for Sale"
.....................................................................................
Hey Tubs this is the Wild West, Good guys wear white, we wear BLACK. ....................................................................................................................................
I have to apoligize, I didnt even take the SAT so I just now got the punch themselves in the face !
College Football: "Our Traditions are now for Sale"
.....................................................................................
Hey Tubs this is the Wild West, Good guys wear white, we wear BLACK. ....................................................................................................................................
At first I was soooo confused why someone would post something so intimate...
Ah the Aggies. Good ridance to those 100s of 1000s of douche-bags. Perennial underachievers and tools of the highest order. We’ll miss your dumb and pointless traditions. Oh… wait a minute.
Teach me how to Doege teach me teach me how to Doege!!!
Yeah, i missed that too!
"My, what big ears you have!"- Little Red Riding Hood presumably to Tommy Tuberville
Of course they are.
They’re chanting “SEC, SEC, SEC, SEC” to the melodic strains of “Highway to Hell.”
"I didn't get a 'Harumph!" outta that guy!"
by Yellow City Raider on Oct 5, 2011 1:07 PM CDT up reply actions
SEC Presidents
When wearing Painter Suits, then “yes” they would be Aggie Cheerleaders.
by idaho_techsan on Oct 5, 2011 1:07 PM CDT up reply actions
Wait Until UGA or USC Finds Out
Hey, why is the ice cream man down on the field selling…Wait a minute!
Turn UGA loose on Lassie could make for some interesting sideline entertainment.
Beergut
Where has that guy been lately? I thought for sure he couldn’t/wouldn’t resist commenting on this one. That wonderful site editor banned me after 1 comment at his joke of a site a few years ago. So what if my comment had to do with aggys and their enjoyment of sheep…let it go bro! I still laugh every time I see him try to give what I’m sure he thinks is a well thought out opinion only to be kicked to the curb and pissed on by all the folks over at BON. Pure enjoyment…
Beergut, bring your popcorn this weekend buddy! Come by the tailgate early and have a few brews with the homies. We would enjoy meeting you…
LOL!!!
That is perfect. Pure genius. I wonder if there was a quota. After beergut banned 200 members of DTN Seth won one for his folks! Fight on Seth!! Wreck Em!!
He was on BON this morning clamoring about the DeLoss Dodds article in the Tulsa newspaper.
Funny how Aggie fits the Lil Bro thing to a “T”. Beergut is just the internet reality of that perception.
by idaho_techsan on Oct 5, 2011 4:57 PM CDT up reply actions
HA HA HA
me too! we should take a poll
Arriba sus Pistolas, Muchachos!
by Tortilla Pirate on Oct 5, 2011 4:58 PM CDT up reply actions
He's done his yearly post where he claims...
… that Aggy is “Lubbock’s Super Bowl”. Seriously. You cannot find deception like that in an asylum. This is why everyone has concluded that Beergut is a fat over-aged teenager living in his mother’s basement who eats cheetohs all day and who never played any sport at all. You cannot pin the guy down (actually… any aggy) on anything. When we owned them for a decade and a half, they would never talk about the present, but always the past. Now that they won a few games since 2009, you can’t get them to talk about the last couple of decades because they are living in 2010 (don’t mention 2011 either!).
Anyway, you don’t want that guy over here because he doesn’t wash his hands after he plays with himself, and he types with one hand so he can play with himself all of the time.
So, if you didn’t think that this week was our “Super Bowl”, then Chilli Bowl Beergut wants you to know that IT IS… and, the shitter’s full.
Antiswarm
I have a poetic license
by antiswarm on Oct 7, 2011 4:33 PM CDT up reply actions 1 recs
All who have been banned from beergut's site hit rec button.
This should be fun
by TTU '04 on Oct 5, 2011 5:01 PM CDT reply actions 3 recs
Sumbitch that's funny....
You meant it to be funny….right?
(Seriously, that dog was gayer than a bag of penises.)
LOLOL!!!!
rec’d just for this hahaha
teach me how to doege
Just sayin.....
once the atm’s get to the sec the folks over here( I live in MS) make the atm “traditions” a laughing stock!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe 80 years ago their “traditions” had no sexual conatations but today the alternative lifestyle jokes will consume any new oxygen that the atm feels they get by seperating from the teasips…..anyway, this was brilliant!!! go Scotty!
Wreck’Em Tech
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