Adam James: The Final Chapter
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 2, 2011 7:18 PM CDT
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PrintI gotta be honest. This whole Adam James vs. Mike Leach/Team Captain/Who's Your Captain/Redemption Tour for the ol' 82 bores the juice outta me. It seems that the argument has taken longer to wind down than the background vocals in the Stones' Sympathy for the Devil
Just when you think the song is about to end, Keith and Charlie pop out from behind Mick.
Whoo! Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo!
And on and on and on and on.
So this afternoon I tried to find a diversion. I wanted to be constructive so I gathered my camera phone, my sweet wolf shirt, and some of my kid's stuffed animals and threw 'em in my truck. With a full tank and a Red Bull, I went looking for trouble.
Here's me with a Doege Bear puppet yelling at a longhorn and a bunch of stupid cows with my sweet wolf shirt draped over the barbed wire.
In an attempt to really confuse them, I yelled in Spanish. They were so confused. Stupid cows.
In this shot the Doege bear is starting to get cocky and pose for the camera. He has a right to be cocky since he's bi-lingual.
Here's a shot of me and the Doege Bear trying to flush some decorative longhorns down the toilet.
For some reason they wouldn't go down so I'll probably mount them to the hood of my truck after we kick UT's ass on Saturday.
Here's me sending a letter to Cedric Benson in jail. I sent him a nail file so he can try and break out before the game. That way he can watch us kick UT's ass from the comfort of his own home.
I'm definitely not paying for postage though. The LHN needs to help out.
Here's me hacking into my wife's Facebook account to send a warning to Fozzy Whitaker.
It's not easy to read but I basically told Fozzy (AKA Casey Abrams?) he was OSM on American Idol but we're gonna kick your ass this weekend. NO YARDS 4 THE FOZZY!
Later I bought some fresh eggs from a lady on Scenic Loop to throw at all the burnt orange Impalas driving around San Antonio.
>
A few miles down the road are George Strait's show barn and stables. I would never throw eggs at George Strait.
But then I saw this sign a few hundred feet further so I unloaded in a fit of rage.
It was like an egg machine gun. I hit everything in sight.
C'mon George Strait, be cool. This is America. You can't tell me where alcoholic beverages can live. Sorry about your barn, but you should really loosen up a little.
I got back in the truck and headed back to town, but I had one more stop to make. Here's my monkey visiting with a donkey and a palomino for midgets.
Donkeys understand Spanish, so I asked him why he was shacking up with a palomino for midgets.
He said "Because I can afford it" in beautiful broken English.
I finally made it home with only one task left. I hooked the stuffed monkey up to my truck and shocked the stuffing out of him.
You may be thinking "this story has nothing to do with Adam James" and you're absolutely right.
See?
The diversion worked!
We play the Texas Longhorns in two days. You don't have to get behind Adam James or Tuberville, but you damn sure better get behind your couch. We need it!
Get behind the couch and shock the monkey!
Cue Keith and Charlie- Whoo! Whoo!
Disclaimer- I wanted to dress up like Raider Red and jump out into that field and ride the longhorn while my wife was snapping pictures but she wouldn't go for it. So I used a hand puppet and spoke Spanish.
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Just curious...
how early do you start drinking & what do you mix with the Red Bull? I hear it’s really good with Vodka!
I do want to hear what happens with the longhorn in the toilet & that poor little sock monkey!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
Haven't had a drop
and don’t really like Red Bull.
I know, mind boggling.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 2, 2011 7:40 PM CDT up reply actions
Are those Double-T valve stem caps?
I can’t quite tell, and I have never seen them before, but if anyone is really gonna have them, It would be someone from here.
…More understated than big stickers.
Yes, Double T stem caps.
I’m classic like that.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 2, 2011 8:04 PM CDT up reply actions
Ooh - I love Red Bull - it tastes just like sweet tarts!
My neighbor is a marketing rep for Red Bull so I’ve got my own neighborhood dealer…
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
I think it tastes like some kind of metallic acid cough syrup.
But I’ll still drink.
Be a team. Be the most excited to play. Be the best at doing your @#&$ing job.
Vodka and redbull
almost got me arrested in 2006 for the SMU game. Apparently I’m quite a cocky drunk with vodka and red bull
i like lose women
I’m not sure who this Adam James is you speak of, as I have been diagramming the angles that Cody Davis needs to take on 3rd and short.
Beat the entitled!!!
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Nov 2, 2011 7:35 PM CDT via iPhone app reply actions
A Masterpiece....
…thank you for perspective. I almost coughed up my whiskey while I was reading….but I held…..It’s a sin to spill whiskey! BTW…love the donkey quote…..but how ’bout “I like blondes!”
Dos mas por favor...dos mas!!
by RGV_REDRAIDER on Nov 2, 2011 7:56 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
I talked to this robot on the Internet earlier.. He also didn't have much to say about Adam James.
User: Hello Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Hey cleverbot.
User: Who is Adam James?
Cleverbot: My step father.
User: Oh. Snap.
Cleverbot: Ouch.
User: Will Texas Tech beat UT this weekend?
Cleverbot: An ok.
User: You must have started drinking early. Good man.. Er, bot.
Cleverbot: Oh wait no. That was my friend Selena Gomez.
Be a team. Be the most excited to play. Be the best at doing your @#&$ing job.
by merrik on Nov 2, 2011 8:12 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs
why (in my head) does the donkey have the voice of
the most interesting man in the world commercial guy?
So while the rest of you wrestle with your precious moral ambiguity, His feats will be memorialized by the scribes who are paid to write them (or else). - London Raider
One time I thought I had lost my swiss army knife
"As we continue to merely "talk about championships""
Did you go ahead and re-enlist so you could get another one ?
Living large in Texas...Texas forever.
I would have, but a guy gets tired of the cheese
"As we continue to merely "talk about championships""
Win.
All. Day. Long.
I think I pee’d my pants.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
You had to check?
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
I was swimming and wasn't sure.
" Answers --Become Resources."
Without Questions, There are limited Resources...
Okay, you just made me spit out my captain crunch!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
If anyone's in Phoenix
I’ll be at the Fuzzy’s Taco shop on Mill Avenue in Tempe at 9:00 AM for the game. The general manager is a Tech alum.
I wasn’t going to go… but I think this post just did it for me.
“GO RAIDERS! SHOCK THE MONKEY! SLAP CHOP!!!!”
Just head towards the shouting… that’s me.
"We've all asked ourselves, "What ZIT?", "Who ZIT", "Which ZIT?", or possibly, "What time ZIT?". Well folks, this ZIT!!"
Furthermore,
SARR needs his own comedy bit. They could replace the 3rd quarter song with a “Musings from the Bell Tower Boys” clip.
"We've all asked ourselves, "What ZIT?", "Who ZIT", "Which ZIT?", or possibly, "What time ZIT?". Well folks, this ZIT!!"
by ZIT on Nov 2, 2011 8:39 PM CDT up reply actions
And here they are in the studio recording it
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_Xf1nOb99Y&feature=related
2011 Season - No excuses. Just win!
by mbrown603 on Nov 2, 2011 9:23 PM CDT reply actions 2 recs
I knew you would appreciate the Stones reference
and in your honor I corrected “Ron” to “Charlie”. Need to make sure I’m historically accurate.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 2, 2011 9:35 PM CDT up reply actions 2 recs
I got nothin'...
"Fill it up again". "It's so good! Once it hits your lips it's so good!" -Frank the Tank
The diversion worked
Oh brother, you have a bizarre imagination. Helps remind me why I don’t drink anymore.
BTW, wish you’d get Tech to do a “Crazy Bell Tower Boys” race during halftime. Watching Hance, Bailey, et al. running drunkenly down the sideline would be very entyertaining!
It's raining in Maui
Thanks for the chuckle.
Wreck ’em !
6 am start Saturday. Early bird gets the worm.
But the second mouse gets the cheese?
If I woke up to find I was on an island somewhere in the middle of the pacific and college football was at 6 am, I would really have to see about shooting whoever was responsible for that.
Fortunately, I start feeling a little too Pacific whenever I get West of Levelland and turn around. You can never be too careful.
and
You want to move….why?
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Nov 3, 2011 9:36 AM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
Huh? I don't.
Rolling out of bed this morning and suddenly imagining my reality on a pacific island disturbed and irritated me. I just couldn’t fathom palm trees before coffee, and I had a moment!
The first possible scenario was that I would be sucked up and deposited in Hawaii by ailiens, because it’s not something I would just go and do.
After the coffee pulled me out of dreamland, I recon it wouldn’t be a bad place to visit for an afternoon or so – maybe for a light lunch and a nap. Really though, they have whales there – and maybe its the fact that I only got 4 hours of sleep, but I am fairly positive that I don’t even believe in whales.
Also, I have always regarded palm trees as a ridiculous figment of someone else’s imagination – A cartoon covertly inserted into reality as a monument to the absurd…and then I thought about Football at 6am. It’s a lot to ask of a pre-caffinated mind running on 4 hours of sleep. I’ve been many places in the world. West Texas is my home and I like it that way. It was tough imagining myself elsewhere for a moment.
…But that’s not to be taken as anything against people who do the Hawaii thing – What’s okay for some people can geographically weird me out and so forth, and that’s just life. I am easily geographically un-nerved.
6 am football isn't early
its late. Beer and some sort of caffeine should keep you going until the game is over.
i like lose women
Mmmmmaybe.
Let’s think this through. I don’t beer anymore- but If I were beamed down to Hawaii with a case of Doctor Pepper, A bag of Doritos, and a hardhat for those ridiculous trees dropping coconuts…Awww, but wait – I need boots, too – they are still toying with lava there- Join the modern geological age already! At least they had some saint drive all the snakes off the island. Can’t win em all? Anyway…
Okay, now, we are prepared, but I would be even more sleep deprived and loopy than I am now- sugared up and caffeinated and buzzing on MSG and watching the Longhorn game. If we were to loose, I am sure the surreal context would ease the loss. If we were to win I would be sure that all of it was ridiculous and impossible, and probably not believe it, because nothing else would be true either.
Freakinout, you have a masterful plan!
It might be the ideal way to watch tech football.
I think I am coming around on this idea.
Daylight Savings
Yeah, 6:00 am ain’t that bad. It gets better after y’all do daylight savings(we do not) so the game would be at 7:00 am then. Either way, it’s either beer or bloody’s and get on to the day. We don’t complain much out here, no one listens.
WRECK ’EM !!!!
much coffee,
comes from tropical island farms, including hawaii and costa rica. additionally, columbia and other places. tropical temps and volcanic soil provide the luscious livening elixir that lights up your day, and mine.
by Jameson Vernon on Nov 4, 2011 12:20 PM CDT up reply actions
That’ll do it….paradise, without tex mex.
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Nov 4, 2011 7:00 AM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
It all starts here
"I feel sorry for the guys," Tech head coach Tommy Tuberville said. "They fought hard tonight. We didn't look good on offense or defense at times, and at times we looked pretty good. It's just, I don't know. Weird game.
Hand Puppets
SARR
50 years ago, all of us in Abernathy suspected that all New Deal boys had hand puppets. Now comes the proof. Enjoyed your post and look forward to your next one.
That's funny
I was a little nervous when taking those pics. The house was not far from the field. I was hoping the old farmer didn’t look out his window and see a dude wearing a suit with a puppet taking pictures of his cows.
That kind of this is probably frowned upon in Texas.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 3, 2011 7:57 AM CDT up reply actions
you're close enough to austin, that the farmer is probably used to it.
"As we continue to merely "talk about championships""
I would have paid to see a picture of you taking that picture!
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
Little people of the world
Mount your palominos and ride!
(not that way, beergut)
"I’ve established a reputation for integrity. I have maintained those high standards" - Craig James
now now SARR
you know this only works on kids…wait what where we talking about I got distracted?
Texas Tech Defense..."60% of the time it works every time."
by I bleed Red and Black on Nov 3, 2011 9:32 AM CDT reply actions
WOW
SARR has been linked 3 times on this so far…
I don’t ever cheat on DTN with any other site……so I believe the RP site is pretty much just a homerfest that only allows the company line to be repeated?
Sounds like an echo chamber.
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Nov 3, 2011 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions
Ryan Hyatt
@RyanHyattWHShow Ryan Hyatt
If you are a #TexasTech fan you must read this. sbn.to/rJxrnh If you are #UT fan, have someone read it to you. . . #SARRforthewin
22 minutes ago via TweetDeck Favorite Retweet Reply
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
Also noticed that was linked on RP.com (http://mbd.scout.com/mb.aspx?s=188&f=1650&t=8196209) and here are some comments.
DTN is a mess. The posters over there are delisional.
WTF was that?
Greatness
Really? How so?
Just goes to show that one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.
Go Raiders . . .
Double-T Nation
Just hit refresh and the “DTN is a mess. The posters over there are delisional.” isn’t there any more, which means that the original poster probably realized that DTN is not a mess and that we are totally delisional. This is why SBN doesn’t let people modify or delete their own comments.
Go Raiders . . .
Double-T Nation
And I thought you were trying to out the hunt & peck typists who don't pay enough attention before hitting "Post"
2011 Season - No excuses. Just win!
To clarify
A hunt & peck typist looks at the keyboard, not the screen. So if he hits the wrong key, or hits keys out of order, or God forbid hits CAPS LOCK & keeps typing 3 or 4 paragraphs before looking up, well they either go back & edit or forget & hit Post.
2011 Season - No excuses. Just win!
Yes, I’m usually not one to criticize spelling mistakes because I have a ton of them, but I thought it was funny that the comment was made, then deleted. Thought it would be better to continue the misspelling.
Go Raiders . . .
Double-T Nation
This site is treasure
That site is trash.
(Got them good didnt I?)
by TexasTechForever on Nov 3, 2011 1:58 PM CDT up reply actions
Yup!
You shore did! Seriously, the level of intelligence on DTN is so much higher than RP’s it isn’t funny. At least we know how to spell “delusional!” (Although I admit to making lots of typos and mispellings whenever I’m really pissed—just look at my post-game comments for the last month!)
by djn on Nov 3, 2011 4:05 PM CDT up reply actions
I just pray my high school English teacher doesn't review my posts in the open gameday threads
I never stop to proofread & correct those. And she takes off for spelling. Every time. I wrote a 10 page research paper & spelled their thier (I before E except after C). She marked 1/2 point off every single instance. I would argue that I only mispelled 1 word & remained consistent to that spelling throughout. I’m still pissed.
2011 Season - No excuses. Just win!
I know some people who managed to get negative grades on english papers in high school...
And in my current job I get to listen to 3-4 people correct others spelling for a few hours a month. Yay for spelling.
Delisional…
Be a team. Be the most excited to play. Be the best at doing your @#&$ing job.
Why do people always think delusional is a bad thing?
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
Delusional is normal
delisional is just plain wierd
"As we continue to merely "talk about championships""
I was delisional once
After drinking too many free long island iced teas at the planet on ladies night. It freaked me out so I swore to never be delisional again.
Be the kind of woman that when your feet hit the floor each morning the devil says, "oh crap, she's up".
Apparently they don't like me over at RP.com
So I can check that accomplishment off my bucket list.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 3, 2011 2:42 PM CDT reply actions
bet they woulda shown more favor if
the jumper cables were not on the monkey……….they’re sensitve like that
"As we continue to merely "talk about championships""
When
do we get the cool ‘veteran’ or ‘noob’ classification. That appears to be one step away from Larping.
I bet a Haiku in Hance’s honor would get you in good graces there.
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Nov 3, 2011 2:51 PM CDT up reply actions
My dream in life is to be a Flounder
and then I will break through that glass ceiling.
No bullfights. No gambling. No donkeys. No vanilla extracts. No piñatas. None of that stuff. Straight football. No switchblades.
by San Antonio Red Raider on Nov 3, 2011 2:54 PM CDT up reply actions
I put on my whistle and windbreaker.
Be a team. Be the most excited to play. Be the best at doing your @#&$ing job.
That's good!
That means you’re much too intelligent for those boobs! (Or is it "Haboobs? Just another excuse to say “boobs”, as Austin has so deftly pointed out!)
by djn on Nov 3, 2011 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions
That should refer to....
Should refer to SARR’s not being liked by RP posters. That’s a badge of honor for “I’m not one of the run-of-the-mill lapdogs!”
I just read a few threads on RP...it was my first time
Let me just say this blog blows the ever loving s*** out of that excuse of a site. I felt like I was reading an excel document the whole time. Also, I want some of the crack being smoked over there and wonder just how far ones head must go up any given ass to find said crack. It’s not possible to manufacture crack strong enough on the streets without some serious shit being mixed in…for real! Those comments were hilarious. After reading comments over there I have been informed that TTU will be in the BCS in 2012 and that in the long run TT will bring more wins per year than Leach…me scratching my head?
comments
And projections like that are good…especially if there is some though behind it. I’m just not into having exclusions on what I can pontificate on. If there is a negative to discuss, giddy up.
"Trust your gut....mine always finds good Mexican food"
-Me
by oldschoolraider on Nov 4, 2011 7:05 AM CDT via iPhone app up reply actions
Thanks alot, SARR!
I just poured myself a cup of coffee and settled down to read DTN…..my morning routine. Cannot tell you how much I enjoyed your post….and all the hilarious comments. Almost spit the hot coffee all over myself. This is such a great site….call me delisional if you want, but I love it! WRECK ’EM RAINDERS!!!
sich a beauterful thing,
unspellings an sich.
by Jameson Vernon on Nov 4, 2011 12:27 PM CDT up reply actions
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