News flash: Men and women are different. Traditionally, men could be as polite as punch when women were in the room and then behave like they wanted when the women left. Men at a party or gathering could get together over to the side and talk however they wanted without offending anyone. I know you’ve seen it a bazillion times. It was easy to be polite when the situation dictated and revert to the ‘men only’ state when it didn’t. No problem. But make no mistake, men are not completely relaxed except in the ‘men only’ state any more than women are relaxed in the midst of offensive (to them) behavior. Men can’t defend their crudeness any more than women can defend their sensitivities. We’re just different.

But the internet has fundamentally changed the world. Now a woman can walk into a ‘room’ like DTN and ‘hear’ the conversation that some men in the corner had two hours ago – a conversation that was never intended for women’s ears in the classic sense. Now a woman can walk secretly into a room of men like she was invisible and listen to their conversation. There is no more time or space that separates conversations. We don’t have any cultural rules for this new situation.

From the man’s perspective, what you are asking of a predominantly male forum is essentially that those men must forever give up the right to get over to one side and have a private conversation again. Ever. That’s a pretty tall order when you think about it. It’s more than women have ever demanded of men. From that perspective, it’s no wonder you ran into a brick wall.

But it’s not all one-sided. I can see where a woman would be just as resistant to the notion that she must forever abandon a more delicate environment. This is part of the same male-female conflict that has been around forever. Why should you miss out? Why should we have to miss out? Can’t we be more ‘cultured’ all the time? Can’t you realize it’s not aimed at you? Nothing here is new except for the internet environment. I don’t claim to have the answers, but I doubt that ‘everybody has to change to suit me’ is going to work for any of us.

If you want to "hang with the boys" you are going to be subjected to language you might find offensive. If you don’t want to hear it (read about it) then don’t go into the locker room. (Plz keep reading I am not saying leave DTN). Boys and Men will be "Boys and Men".

IMO, it is not any different then what women talk about (in reverse) in their private gatherings.

Sometimes on DTN a tangent line of comments will start up and the language is what I will call "locker room talk". I just don’t follow or contribute to that tangent line of comments. I will either leave the post or add a comment that responds to the Post’s subject.

BTW — I was one of the people that Rec’d Seth’s comment. Just for the reason I state above and not because of your method or push in trying to get a new rule or change on the subject. You have every right to state your opinion and to see if some sort of rule or change could be initiated. I wasn’t trying to hide my response. As Seth asked a few months ago, I try to use the "Rec" feature instead of posting a "+1".

Austin, TX …. you are correct in that it is a thin and muted line now that women are exposed to what used to be private "male" conversations.

I too came to DTN because I love Texas Tech and the Red Raider sports teams (especially football). For the first few weeks, I just read the posts and comments because I felt my opinion might be laughed at because I was a "women" and I have never actual played most of these sports that are discussed. I know I still stumble on the lingo and might not know the intricacies of the different positions and their different game plans. But I finally jumped in and started commenting and contributing and realized my original fears had no base.

As you stated, Austin, TX

"The vast majority of people who post on DTN are men and the vast majority of them are AWESOME people."

Again, let’s not try and be politically correct …. Let’s just comment, contribute and have fun and enjoy the camaraderie we all share on DTN. We can call people out when we feel it gets out of line or is severe as you and I both did in a comment about the word "ugly".

As I stated on the "Why DTN is a Politics-Free Zone" …….

DTN is an escape for many of us. It is a place where we can just learn more and discuss more about our favorite team and sports.
Seth, the rules you have set are why this is the place we all check on everyday or most days. It is just about sports and especially about Texas Tech and the Red Raider teams.
Respect the site and the other DTN members and follow the few simple rules and we all win and we all continue to enjoy DTN.